8. Secrets to Managing Depression in 2021 - Paul Nelson (Guest Host)

We made it, its 2021. Paul Nelson is acting as a guest host today as we talk about depression, suicide, and how combat this in 2021. Every person is valuable, and every life is unique. How can we use this New Year as a jump start to change our destructive mental patterns so we can be victorious in our lives. All this and more in this exciting New Years episode.

I'm just so excited about life. I'm in my mid 50s, and I'm more excited about life than I've ever been. I see more opportunity and I'm excited about encouraging other people. I'm excited about encouraging my team team. I have a goal to have 1000 employees. The important thing is to have a goal, have something that I'm excited about and something that we continue to work forward toward. So many folks in my sphere talk about 2020 and what an awful year it was, and it's got to get better. But you know what? If you're listening to this podcast, we've all made it through 2020. We understand some people passed away and every life is valuable and every death is tragic. Life goes on and life is going to be better if we can have a positive attitude, if we can have something to hope for. Lou Holtz, my favorite all time motivational speaker, he said, I'm a simple man. Everybody just needs three things someone to love, something to do and something to hope for. Well, Hello, everyone. It's Erin with the Simply Overcoming podcast. And I am excited today. Why am I excited today? Well, it's a new year, 2021. We have new opportunities ahead of us, and I'm excited to see where our lives take us in this new year. Also, I have a really good friend with me today. I look up to this man in business and in life, and he's sort of going to be hosting the podcast today. As we sit down and discuss depression and suicide, we will be discussing some possible ways to be able to manage your depression. And so this is an episode you do not want to miss. This is an inspiring episode. And so without further Ado, I am going to hand it over to my good friend Paul Nelson. Hello, this is Paul Nelson on the Simply Overcoming Podcast. I am the guest host today for Aaron Rittenhour's weekly listeners excited to be here, and the guest is a special guest as well. Our guest today is Mr. Aaron Rittenauer. Oh, well, Paul, thanks for having me on my podcast. This is excellent. And Aaron and listeners, the reason that we're doing this is Aaron has expressed to me he's had folks on this podcast. It's about overcoming. And so he's had folks here that have lost a leg in a motorcycle accident or had a traumatic brain injury in a car accident. He has folks that are lined up that have been in prison for alcohol related offenses. I think there's a podcast in the works where someone is a family member or family member was actually murdered, and life has to go on as traumatic as these events are, life has to go on and ordinary people deal with extraordinary events in their life, and they find it within themselves to overcome. And these are incredible stories. And Aaron, I'm so happy that you're doing this. And for any of the listeners out there. I know Aaron doesn't like to talk about himself, but he has a story. And so we're going to talk about Aaron's story a little bit tonight and then segue into some other things. But Aaron, can you tell us a little bit about where you grew up and what your background look like? Okay. Well, first of all, Paul, thanks for being willing to be on the podcast and to do this with me. This is great. Paul is a really close friend, and I would say a business associate as well. And I've learned a lot from Paul. And I continue to learn from Paul. I grew up in North Idaho, and from a very young age, I dealt with depression, and I don't know where it really came from, but it was just something that I always dealt with. Aaron, when did you first know that you had some form of depression? Or when did you first know that maybe something wasn't right? I feel like it takes a little time to find out. I just thought that it was normal. I thought that it was normal to feel so drained that I would just spend a whole entire day in bed. And did that happen to you when you were ten years old? Yeah. Probably maybe a little older, maybe twelve or 13. So kind of the puberty time. Exactly. And all of a sudden you would have this. You didn't even know why, but you just couldn't get out of bed in the morning. Yeah. Sometimes I didn't even know why. And I just thought that it was normal dealing with thoughts of suicide, which came along later in my life and by later in your life. How much later are we talking? So when I was 18, I had reached a point in my life where I was just ready to call it quits at the time. Go ahead. So these days where you just didn't feel that you could get out of bed became more frequent. Yeah. I would say so. A part of that was drugs and alcohol. You also started to experiment with drugs and alcohol by 18. Yeah. No. I mean, it was probably about 16 that I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. So by the time you were 18, you were more proficient in the youth. Yeah. And I was also involved with people who were selling, dealing drugs regularly. And I wasn't dealing anything hard or anything pot psychedelics. I wanted to make money because I grew up in a home that didn't have as much money. And so in my mind. And also I struggled with learning. Growing up, I couldn't read at the age of 16. So I felt like somebody like me who was back then, I would have said, Stupid, somebody like me who was stupid is not going to be able to make money any other way than to do something illegal. That was my thought. So I thought that that was how I was going to get ahead in life was to deal drugs. So you start having this depression issue to the point that you can't even get out of bed at maybe 1213. Now we add into the mix at 16, some drug and alcohol use, and now you're 18, and you have perfected that use at some level or using it a little bit more often, perhaps. Yeah. It came down to the point where, like I said, I thought about it many times, but I came to the point where I was just ready to be done. And so I made that move, and I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. A loaded gun, a loaded gun. And the gun didn't go off. At that moment. The gun jammed. The gun jammed. It never had jammed before, not to my recollection. It was a great gun, and I cleaned my gun regularly. So I honestly cannot come up with an explanation as to why the gun didn't go off in that moment. It scared me, and I realized what I had just attempted to do and the seconds after attempting to commit suicide. That's when you realize that you are definitely not ready to go. You're not ready to go. But that doesn't cross your mind until shortly after. And so I spent the rest of the night just sitting there contemplating what I had tried to do. And about three days later, I was disassembling my weapon. Same one, same weapon, and I was dry firing it to take it apart. Around was in the Chamber, and I shot myself just below the knee and shattered my tibia. And it was almost like a little slap in the face, like a reminder of what I just tried to do three days before. Why did that happen? Three days after? I don't know, two people were there when it happened, and it was a clean shot through. But that was an awakening for me because I spent two months in bed, wasn't able to walk on the leg for three months. And so I spent a lot of time in bed thinking about my life choices and where I had been and where I wanted to go in life. So the suicide attempt, and then three days later, you shoot yourself in the leg, and then there's a recovery period of three, four, five months, and you have a lot of time to think I do. And then what happens? Well, at that point, I was too invested with the people that I was spending time with, selling drugs and partying all the time. And I felt like I needed to get away from it. The summer after my accident, I actually spent a summer hitchhiking around the West Coast. But then the year after that, I ended up on the Pacific Crest Trail, where I walked 1300 miles over a span of three months, which is quite a long time for 1300 miles for somebody who wants to do the whole 2600 miles in a year or in a span of four or five months. But I left with $500 in my pocket and I knew that I wouldn't make it. I had a feeling without stopping and working. I just wasn't going to make it. But at that point, I needed to get away and get away from the situation that I was in and sort of go out on my own. I don't think I ate while I was out there properly because I lost, like, £30 just because I couldn't eat enough. When you're walking between 25 and 35 miles every single day, you just can't eat enough. You go into a restaurant, you order food, you eat it, and then you order more food and then you eat it, and then you order more food. And so you go through a lot of food. So now you've walked the Pacific Crest Trail for 1300 miles. You've spent some time away from these friends. What happens next? I would like to say that my life changed overnight, but I don't think that story happens very often. That's the story that everybody would like to hear in my mind. I knew that I really didn't want to live this lifestyle. And so when I came back, thankfully, after I came back, I had been gone long enough that I felt like I was out of the situation that I was in before. I wasn't spending time with the same people. And it almost felt like a fresh start because I had time away. And so by the time you come back from your 1300 miles hike, how much time has he lapsed since the suicide attempt? Probably a little less than two years. So about two years. Yeah. And so by the time you come back, you're now thinking, I don't think I'm going to deal drugs anymore. Yeah. Maybe it isn't so important to go partying every weekend. Yeah. Like I said, it wasn't an overnight change, but it was a change that had to happen. It was a change. I knew that had to happen. So let's fast forward now, how long is that in your rear view mirror to where we are right now? Five years. That's five years ago. Yeah. So today I think I'm going to talk about this and who you are because you're not going to want to talk about yourself. So I will. Aaron is now running his own business 100%. Aaron had actually worked for our company. That's been about a year ago, and he came to me at one point and said, I'm going to give my notice. I'll still do videos for you, but I'm no longer going to work on gyms. I'm going to launch my own company. And I remember the time encouraging you. And I've always thought that you should do this. You have an incredible talent on these videos and on this podcast that you're doing and so to be able to launch your own business, you're from all external indications, happily married at this point, which is an accomplishment in and of itself. And I don't want to dwell on this, but I want you to talk to listeners or anybody that may be plagued with this with depression and talk. Now five years out what depression is like. The depression hasn't gone away, right. It's still with you? No. And I'm sure there's lots of stories out there where people have been alleviated of their depression at some point. And that's great. But the reality is if you have depression, you are probably going to struggle with it your whole life and depression, for me, has been so bad at sometimes that it's a daily thing. It's an every other day thing. It's extreme highs and very low lows. So you still have times where you don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Absolutely. Yeah. Can you tell the listeners what your diet looks like? Well, I grew up vegan vegetarian, and then there was a short time in my life for five years where I would pretty much eat anything that wasn't poisonous. If it wasn't poisonous, I would try it. I've done a lot of traveling to foreign countries, doing film work, and so I have eaten worms and beetles and all sorts of weird stuff. I love to try new things, but overall, I'm mostly vegan vegetarian. Again, I've gone back to that, and it seems to help me a lot. So by seems to help it does seem to help this depression at some level, I would say so it helps me with energy. Okay. I feel like I have more energy. Now, listen, one diet isn't going to work for everyone. I'm just saying that's what I do, and that's what seems to help me. And the other thing that helps me is exercise. Paul, exercise is a huge benefit to somebody that deals with depression. I try to prioritize exercise every day or at least every other day. Get out. Sometimes it's 5 miles for me. Sometimes it's 20. I like to put on the miles by putting on the miles. You're talking about running? Yeah. Running, hiking, walking. Okay. So when I exercise, no matter how far and I come back, I feel my mind is much clearer. Like this evening, for instance, I just came back from a nine mile run before I came over to see Paul, and I just feel so much more clear than I did before. My wife will attest to the fact that if I'm having a bad day and I go out and put on 510 miles, I come back a completely different person. That's awesome. So you have found external stimulation between your diet and exercise that you are able to manage your depression at this point? Absolutely. It's very much still with you. But you aren't trying to commit suicide on a daily basis, right? Yeah. I mean, that time has passed. And even though I still deal with depression regularly, and most people who know me wouldn't even recognize that I deal with depression. But even though I may deal with depression regularly, I know that I will be able to come out the other side. And it's just something that's going to happen, and it will pass. And at that point, I can just move on. I'm sure you'd be the first one to say that everyone is different. Absolutely. Some people may need a medical doctor to help deal with their depression. There's nothing wrong with that. No. And if that's something that you feel like you need, then you need to move forward with that. But I highly recommend exercise. I think exercise can be very beneficial. I actually have a friend and he was on medication for bipolar for, like, five or six years, and the medication was just messing with his head. And so he picked up running and he became a marathon runner and then an ultra marathon runner. He got off the medication. All signs of bipolar is gone. Wow. So exercise is proven to help people with depression without question. And so even if that means it's different for everybody, you may not go out and run 5 miles, but if you get out and you move, you walk, walk a mile, walk 2 miles. Get out there and move. Get out. In nature. There will be some relief. Absolutely. And there is an end to this. There always is going to be an end to this. The depression will pass. But if there was one thing that I'm sure you would encourage is that every person is valuable and there are always reasons to go on, and there's help available. Certainly there's suicide prevention hotlines. And there are friends and there's professionals and there are people to help you. Let's talk about goals as we're recording this. It's December 31, 2020. We're just a few hours away from New Year's. Paul, you have a goal that you've taken up. And I'd like you to talk about the goal that you've taken up. Well, I am a business person. I'm a contractor, and I shared with Aaron. I'm just so excited about life. I'm in my mid fiftys and I'm more excited about life than I've ever been. I see more opportunity and I'm excited about encouraging other people. I'm excited about encouraging my team. I have a goal to have 1000 employees. I don't know if I'll ever reach that goal. I don't care. Really. The important thing is to have a goal, have something that I'm excited about and something that we continue to work forward toward. So many folks in my sphere talk about 2020 and what an awful year it was and it's got to get better. But you know what? If you're listening to this podcast, we've all made it through 2020. We understand some people passed away and every life is valuable and every death is tragic. But the simply Overcoming podcast Life goes on, and life is going to be better if we can have a positive attitude if we can have something to hope for. Lou Holtz, my favorite all time motivational speaker, he said, I'm a simple man. Everybody just needs three things someone to love, something to do and something to hope for. And really, isn't it just that simple? That's what a goal does for you. It gives you something to hope for, something to do. One of the first questions that I asked Paul when I walked into the house today was, Did you get your miles in? Did you get your miles in, Paul? Well, I haven't yet, but it's not midnight, so I think I have 15 or 16,000 steps, and I have a goal to do 20,000 steps every day, so I'll be headed out before bedtime or before whatever else we choose to do tonight to finish off my steps. The last time I spent time with Paul as I was leaving the house at 738 o'clock at night, Paul was putting on his boots. There was maybe six to eight inches of snow out on the ground, and Paul was headed out the door to go put in his miles that he needed to get done for the day. Pretty fanatical about it. 20,000 steps is 8.2 miles for a person at my height, and I do it every day. How important do you feel it is when you make a goal to follow through with it? I think it's critical. I think I do some little motivational sayings that I post on the Internet and it came to me one day as it's 10:00 at night and I'm out trying to finish off my steps. But if you can't follow through on the things that you commit yourself to, how will you ever follow through on the commitments that you make to other people? So making commitments to yourself, I think, is critically important. And following through on those commitments. Oftentimes New Year's is looked at as a time to set goals for the next year. Maybe you're starting a new diet. Maybe you're wanting to start working out oftentimes. I feel like people come up with goals for the New Year, and after a few weeks they fall off the wagon, right. Maybe they got so excited about the idea of having a new goal that maybe they gave themselves something that was just unattainable. And eventually they end up becoming discouraged. And this is a real problem in our society right now. I feel like this is a big problem. People set goals and then they walk away from them. This happens every single year at New Year's. People set goals a week or two later. They're completely not even thinking about it anymore. What would you say to those people? Because when you set goals and then you walk away from them, it changes your brain and it makes it more difficult the next time to follow through. And as you continue to not follow through, it becomes like I said, extremely difficult to follow through later. Absolutely. And look, none of us are perfect. I'm a few pounds heavier than I would like to be, which is why I set a goal to do 20,000 steps and go out and walk every day. But having a realistic goal. If I wanted to lose £20, which I do and made a few small adjustments to my lifestyle and my exercise, I can lose £20 in five years easily, really easy by some very minor adjustments to my diet and exercise. If I wanted to lose those £20 in the next four weeks, my gosh, I probably don't have the commitment to do what would be required. So give yourself the amount of time that you need. And the reason I'm a few pounds overweight is from because for many years I consistently ate some things I shouldn't have and didn't exercise as much as I should have. So just making a few adjustments to eat a little bit less and to walk a little bit further every day in a matter of time, it's going to make a huge difference. Goal setting is a scientifically proven way to restructure your brain cells, and in the end, that may make you massively successful. And so if you struggle with setting a goal, sticking to a goal, maybe just start small, make it a daily routine to sit down and come up with very small goals and follow through on those goals. And as you do, you'll become much more motivated to create bigger goals. Maybe you're not going to set a goal to go out and walk 8 miles every day. Maybe you're going to set a goal to walk 8 miles every week, but you need to get out there and you need to set those goals and then you need to follow through with them and you'll be better for it. In the end, it'll change your life. I agree with that. 100% Aaron, setting a gold walk 8 miles a week for most Americans would be a huge improvement over what they are doing. Yeah. And I know a lot of people in the United States struggle with weight. This is a big problem in our society now, and I see people around me who struggle with that and they want to get out and they want to change it, but they just can't. They don't have the motivation. They have given up on goals so many times that they are so discouraged that they just completely give up on the idea of just getting out and walking a mile. So it's really important to take a small goal and to move forward, and I guarantee you it will get easier. It always does. And as you follow through, it's going to make you healthier and happier, and it's going to change your brain, which could benefit you. If you do struggle with depression, there's no question that just the smallest goal in the right direction beats a goal that you set that you ignore. In two or three weeks, I listened to a podcast today, the Rich Role podcast. And I just have to share something with you really quick. Love, Rich Roll. He's an athlete, and he does a podcast. You should check him out if you're into athletic podcasts. But I had to write this down. I was in the middle of my run. I had to stop, and I had to write this down because this is amazing. There's this gentleman named Don Wildman. I've never heard of this man. He's an athlete. He's done a whole lot in the athletic world. He fought in the Korean War. At 84 years old, he was helicopter snowboarding in Chile, and at 85 years old, he had one month of slowdown time before he passed away. Wow. Isn't that incredible? That is incredible. It's amazing. Anybody can do that. And that's what I want to do. They say that a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss, a running car keeps running always. And now, if you're young and you're listening to this podcast, now is the time to start growing these habits because it will only get harder for you. The older you get, you need to start working on good habits. Now, now, that's not to say that you can't change your habits when you're older, you absolutely can change your habits. And I see people do it all the time. Take that step and use this New Year to change yourself and to set some attainable goals. Because oftentimes years ago, I would look at New Year's and people setting goals. And I was very pessimistic about it. As you see, people set these goals, why don't you set a goal during the middle of the year? Why New Year's? And I've realized that New Year's is just another reason to set a goal like you have this New Year ahead of you. 2021. If you're listening to this podcast, you survived 2020. Yes, you did. You will be telling your children and your grandchildren about this for years to come, and so be you should looking at this as a positive and you should be going into 2021 knowing that your life could drastically change for the better. All you have to do is start taking those little steps. Aaron, that's absolutely fabulous. Thank you, Paul, for coming in and being involved with the podcast. I really appreciate it. All right. Well, listen. Happy New Year, everybody happy. 2021. It's going to be a great year. This is Paul Nelson with Aaron written hour for the Simply Overcome Podcast. You all make it a great day.